Why Is He Being Like This? (part 3)
‘My reason.’ Dave’s nerves grew sharper than ever before at those words1. It felt like, depending on what reason he gives, the relationship between the two of them could head in the opposite direction.
Reason. What could he say as the reason why she must be with him? No matter how much he thought about it, Dave could not easily arrive at an answer. Actually, there could be no logical reason. No, rather, if he thought about it logically, there would be no reason why the two of them should see each other.
First off, the location of their restaurants would imply this. Unless they were prepared to be in a long-distance relationship, one of the two of them would have to quit his or her restaurant or move it entirely. Considering how much each has built up in his or her respective region, it could hardly be called a rational decision. It would be basically throwing away one’s lifetime efforts just for the sake of love.
And that is why Dave abandoned logic. June is the one who is good at logic. June was unable to arrive at a logical reason as to why in the first place. So for him to be able to think of one was unrealistic, especially since Dave is unable to follow June’s logic.
And so Dave spoke through his feelings. He just poured out his emotions and his heart. He did not even do so for the sake of convincing her. He was pouring out all the feelings he had built up and kept bottled up inside during the time they had been apart before they tore him up.
“Because I’d be happier.”
“…And what about me?”
“Honestly, I don’t know the answer to that. I do think you’d be happier for a moment, but I feel like you could grow tired of it again soon, but…”
Dave fiddled with his hands under the desk. He wanted to grab June’s hands. He wanted to show her just how desperate he was right now. However, he could not. He could tell instinctively that this conversation they are having now is both an opportunity and a crisis for him.
Of course, if Dave could only say the right words and if he could provide June with the assurance that life with him was the right choice, then June could be in his arms in the end. However, if he was unable to persuade her, she would leave his life in the end. June was giving both him and her own self one last chance. Their last chance to take hold of a normal kind of happiness.
Dave thought for a moment. If he bungled this chance, what would happen to June? She could potentially completely give up all hope for happiness as a person and become more perfect as a chef. He could not tell whether she would be happy or not in such a case. However, at the very least, she would be able to achieve what she has always wanted.
“It is difficult to describe what could make you happy,” Dave muttered in a pitiful tone.
Facing Dave like this, June could not deny that one bit. There normally would have been no reason for Dave’s life to be so topsy-turvy as this. He is an honest and cheerful man. If there was only a woman who could properly accept Dave’s love, he would make their family the happiest of anyone’s.
But Dave is facing June here. All of his strong points would be of absolutely no help to his happiness in this moment.
However…
“However, it is easy to describe what makes me happy.”
So Dave decided to greedily chase his happiness for one last time.
“You only need to be by my side. That is enough for me. I am not sure whether that would make you happy… but, at the least, I would be.”
“And is that the reason you’re giving me? That reason doesn’t benefit me any,” June scoffed.
Dave turned to June without changing his expression and said, “You want me to be happy, no?”
“I do?”
“Why? You’d want me to be unhappy?”
“…No, I wouldn’t, but…”
“Then, be with me. If you just make me happy, then…”
Dave confessed, “I’ll try my best to make you happy no matter how hard it will be to figure out.”
“…And so?”
“And what?”
“And so how did you respond to him?”
“What do you mean how? I just said, ‘Then let’s try,’” June replied indifferently.
At those words, Eva burst out laughing.
“So you basically agreed to go out with him again!”
“Yeah,” June affirmed in a dry voice. It was an excessively calm voice for someone who had just rekindled a relationship with her boyfriend, whom she had not been with for such a long time.
Eva said mockingly, “Aren’t you being a bit too cold for someone who just escaped single life after so long?”
“What else were you expecting me to do? Dance?”
“That’s not a bad thought. I think a shuffle dance sounds good.”
“…Enough with the jokes. You know me. I’m not the type to get either happy or sad about something like this. Just as I decided to see him again in the space of a morning, I could also break up with him again in the space of a morning. If you get excited by thinking there’s hope, you’ll just be more easily disappointed later.”
“So you’re saying you don’t want to have hope now because you’re afraid of being disappointed? That sounds just like you don’t want to live because you’re afraid of dying later.”
After drinking, Eva began being more direct with June. June did not blame Eva for doing so. She did not think it was all that bad. At least one person had to be direct with her about reality and her miserable soul.
“I do. Have hope,” June added in a low voice. “I just want to pretend I don’t, so please let it slide.”
“I’m rooting for you,” Eva said, smiling widely.
June responded with a dry laugh and walked to her office. She thought of something she wanted to ask Eva when she grabbed the doorknob, but she could not bring herself to ask Eva directly.
Is Eva rooting for her success? Or for her happiness?
“Kaya, hot off the presses! June and Dave are back together again.”
“Oh, really?”
“…You don’t sound all that surprised.”
“I thought it was just a matter of time. You could tell from just looking at them that they still loved each other. So I thought they’d get back together again later.”
Kaya shrugged as if it were not that big of a deal. Seeing her lukewarm reaction, he wondered if he had gotten overly excited at such trivial news.
“Don’t look so down. We don’t have time for that right now. We need to hurry and finish the Jotus review this week… And we need to evaluate the recipes collecting over at Irregular Lab again.”
“Recipes are really piling up. I was contacted from OC that other time, too, to sell them some recipes that look good.”
“There’s no way we’d do something dirty like that just to earn a few bucks. Dammit, those bastards are disrespecting us.”
Kaya growled and stared out into space, recalling that incident that still has her feathers ruffled.
“It’s possible businessmen simply don’t understand just what cooking means to us. The only thing they can see is the money the cooking brings in.”
“That’s sickening. I don’t think I can be around people like that.”
“You’ll have to learn how to think like that now.”
“Me?”
“You’re a head chef now. If you want to go from head chef to owner chef and later even manage other restaurants… you’ll have to become familiar with the money aspect.”
“I hate that stuff though. If you lose your humanity from playing the numbers game so well, do you think people would find that attractive? I just want to shut up and cook. If it tastes good, it’ll turn out fine somehow. And if it doesn’t, then it’ll fail because it didn’t taste good.”
Operating a restaurant is not based on such simple principles as that, but Jo Minjoon chose not to say anything in response to Kaya. He thought it was good to have chefs like Kaya. Actually, to be honest, he wants Kaya to stay as she is. He wants her to stay a simple girl without any scheming plans no matter how old she gets nor how many wrinkles crease her face. Because that was her charm.
“So are June and Dave going to be managing a restaurant together?”
“Who knows. If they were able to start one together like we have done, then maybe that’d be possible. But given the two of them now, I’m not so sure. They’re pretty established in each of their own styles. Just because both of them would be at the same restaurant, that doesn’t exactly guarantee good results, right?” Jo Minjoon said.
Kaya said, “Hm,” and nodded her head.
“We’re pretty awesome, aren’t we? We’re doing so well for our first venture together,” Jo Minjoon chuckled.
“Yeah, we’re pretty awesome.”
While that awesome couple was busy praising each other, a not-so-awesome person was holed up in a corner at home, spending time staring off into space.
The person was Chloe. How many days has it been since she started spending every day unemployed? Even though she had reached a standstill, rather than searching for a way forward, Chloe was instead searching for a way to go backwards.
‘…Ah, I don’t feel like living.’
An overwhelming sense of helplessness was suffocating Chloe. This is how she has been spending her days lately. She dreaded not being able to move forward, and deep down, a weak part of her was squirming wanting to take the easy way out.
Countless days of struggle had already passed, during which she would sometimes abruptly get up to go do something. Kaya and Jo Minjoon’s efforts inspired Chloe to not leave things the way they were.
However, when she thinks about the gap between her and them, she ends up losing all her steam. She thought to herself, without realizing it, that she believed the day would never come when she could close that gap.
Objectively speaking, Chloe cannot even compare herself to Kaya and Jo Minjoon’s incomparable levels of talent. Those two are cooking every day and are constantly striving to improve. She cannot think of a way to catch up to them.
Of course, one may ask why there is even a need to compete. Chloe has asked that of herself as well. Why is she even trying to compete? Is being a second-rate chef not good enough?
If you tried your very best and made your customers happy, could that not be considered sufficient?
However, those words did not liberate Chloe’s feelings in any way. There was just one thing she was expecting, but she did not know what it was, nor did she have the confidence to decide it for herself.
And that is why she is currently standing before Lisa.
“I’ve been thinking that I do want to cook, but I’m doubting whether I really want to be a chef at a restaurant.”
Lisa quietly listened to Chloe. Her sharp gaze made it difficult for Chloe to even voice anything at all. However, she had to get it out of her system one way or another. Chloe did not stop there. Lisa did not rush her, either.
“At some point I began to think that I should. Kaya did it. So did Jo Minjoon. And even Anderson all became head chefs of restaurants, and they had been pursuing that success. That is the most standard path one takes in cooking. But… I honestly don’t think I’m interested in taking that path.”
“…Why not?”
“For me, cooking is not something to be done in a fierce competition.”
This was the decisive difference between Chloe and the others. Chloe was someone who wanted happiness more than success. And that is why, when Jo Minjoon asked what type of restaurant she wanted to lead, she said she wanted to run a restaurant with someone she loves. Ironically, that restaurant is now run by her friend and ex-lover.
“I just want to be capable of telling myself that. That I don’t need to be competing in the same field as all of them. And that it isn’t me running away, but it’s just something that doesn’t suit me.”
“Have you thought about what you want to be doing?”
“I was considering focusing on cooking research with Irregular Lab at the heart of it.”
“That sounds like a good idea,” Lisa shrugged.
In the past, the only profession related to cooking was being a chef, but nowadays, there are quite a few researchers simply researching recipes themselves.
“It seems like you already figured out the answer for yourself.”
“…I suppose that’s true. I just wanted to get some affirmation.”
Chloe looked a bit fearfully at Lisa.
“Do I… look like a coward to you?”
Lisa shook her head without hesitation.
“You are leaving a field that doesn’t suit you and pursuing one that does. Why would cowardice even be involved in that?”
“…Is that how it is?” Chloe laughed. It was a bright and clear laugh.
“Since you put it that way, I feel a lot better about it.”
“I like your cooking, Chloe,” Lisa continued.
“As long as you are able to continue with that cooking of yours, I’ll always support you in whatever path you choose.”
“…Thank you.”
Chloe took Lisa’s hands.
“Lisa, you stay healthy, as well. I’ll be rooting for you.”
“Of course I have to be healthy. And did you know?”
“What?”
“The mother of a child is invincible.”
A smile spread across Lisa’s lips.
“I’ll never lose.”
It was two weeks later that Lisa collapsed.
CREDITS:
Original author: 양치기자리
Translator: Comic Seoul
Proofreader: Potato
- Please note, the previous chapter did not end with her saying that. I had to double- and triple-check that. ↩︎