Why Is He Being Like This? (part 2)

Her body felt sluggish. June slowly opened her eyes. Whether it was because of the blackout curtains or whether it was because it had not hit daylight yet, she could not see the inside of the room that well.

Her head hurt. Her body felt sluggish. Even though she wanted to say something, her lips were stuck together, and the words would not come out. Her throat was dry. She wet the insides of her mouth with saliva instead of water, but instead it felt like even the moisture on her tongue was drying up.

‘…I’m going to have a rough day,’ June vaguely thought.

She could still feel there was alcohol remaining in her body. Even though she was lying down, she was feeling unwell rather than cozy.

Laying down longer will not encourage that feeling of coziness to embrace her. After spending more time feeling uncomfortable, one is only left with the rueful thought while getting up of, ‘Ah. I should have just gotten up earlier.’ That’s right. Now is the time for regret.

This moment of regret uncannily resembles her life.

June turned her head. Right next to her was Dave’s face. Well, it looked like Dave’s face. When she reached her hand out to the familiar warmth, all she could feel at her fingertips was the blanket.

“Ah…”

June let out a groan—the type of groan that makes one question whether there could be any other that sounded more full of regret.

The emptiness weighed down on June’s body again. She lost the strength to get up. She felt almost as if she would not be able to get up for the rest of her life. The blanket was heavy, as if made from cast iron. And at the same time, the blanket was soft. Everything combined was making her feel lazy—the coolness of the air touching her skin and the darkness that had seeped into her vision.

This is why June was never in a good mood when getting up each morning. She knew the day she would have to get up to face was never that great of a day in the first place. She was just simply repeating the same normal day over and over again. Like a machine.

Maybe her success will one day be the success of the machine June and not the human June.

‘…Dave.’

Whenever she felt drained, she found herself thinking of his name. She had thought she had gotten fully over him, but it looks like that last time when she and Dave slept together had become a problem. The candle light that had died out was lit once again. The candlelight was dim, but enough to draw her attention in the darkness of her life.

To think that in the midst of all this, Dave is the only one who comes to mind. June felt somewhat upset by this and bit her lip. She could not admit that sometimes she considered this idiot more important to her than all the dreams she had built up and all the effort she had put into her whole life.

Having thought that, she could not let herself stay under her covers any longer. She did not want to lose. To weakness. To Dave. But just as she got herself up, June felt her head spin. When she had gotten drunk and then did not get enough sleep afterwards, she had gotten ahead of herself with her enthusiasm.

‘…Water.’

June, who had sat up in the darkness, sleepily looked around for a lamp and was surprised. She looked around her. She thought she would still be at Eva’s house, but she was not. She had been lying down in her own bed. In her own bedroom.

‘What? Did I somehow walk back home?’

There was no way Eva would have seen her home. Even though she is Eva’s boss, Eva had no need to be quite that considerate. She admired herself for not losing her mind during all this.

But that self-admiration stopped in the bedroom. Upon leaving the bedroom and entering the living room, she instantly understood the complete situation. Rather, she understood but did not understand at the same time because what she saw before her seemed so unreal.

‘Have I really gone nuts?’

She saw Dave lying on the sofa. This should not have been possible. Does that mean Dave has brought her back home? How in the world could Dave, who was supposed to be in Chicago, have done that? June could only formulate three guesses as to how.

First, what she is seeing is an illusion. This guess is not a good sign. If this guess is correct, she would really have to get checked at the hospital. She cannot afford to waste any time visiting the hospital when she is so busy.

Second, while heading home while drunk, she saw a man who resembled Dave, mistook him for Dave, and brought him back home. This wasn’t a good sign either. Luckily, she looked to still be fully clothed, but she could not be too sure of what had really happened that time.

And finally, the third.

He came all the way over from Chicago, maybe after hearing her say just one thing while drunk.

June carefully approached the man on the sofa, one step at a time. She did not turn the lights on. The light from the stars and moon was enough for her to see in front of her.

One step. Two steps. Very carefully. Another two steps. One final step while excited.

He was right in front of her.

She carefully reached her hand out to his face. She touched it. June let out an ‘ah’ under her breath. He was not an illusion. He was not fake. He was real. He felt real.

And it really was Dave. His scent that reached her nose, the touch of his skin—each one was Dave’s. There was nothing that did not indicate Dave. June squatted in front of Dave and carefully looked at his face. It looked like his face was the only thing receiving light in the darkness. Each and every fine line of his that should not have been visible stood out in my eyes.

“…Why do you look so much older?” she said in a voice full of lament.

Dave was old. Signs of middle age were already starting to show on his once youthful face, which had been as bright as a beach.

June occasionally had the thought that even though they have grown older and their bodies have also aged, have they really become adults? Honestly, June could not see a huge difference between her young self and where she stands now.

Naturally, she has acquired more experience, and her personality has become more cautious. However, it was not so much of a difference as to demarcate the line between an adult and a child. Is she really an adult?

There is no magic more terrible than time passing. Kids who are not ready for time to pass are forcibly thrown into adult bodies.

“Dave.”

June checked to see if he would respond. Dave did not respond. The sound of him sleeping soundly was youthful and did not fit his appearance. That’s right. He is still a young boy, and she is a young girl. They have simply aged a bit, that is all.

“What did you come all the way here for? You have to go back soon,” she asked rhetorically.

June chuckled and looked at Dave’s face again. The exhaustion that appeared on his face was not unlike Dave’s feelings for her.

Even if she wanted to disregard it, she could not.

Click. A sound could be heard. At that moment, June came to a realization.

That she would never, ever erase this photo she just took before she dies.

---

What woke Dave up was not the sunlight, the sound of an alarm, or even a nightmare. What had woken him up was an aroma that tickled his nose.

“…Salmon.”

“Your nose is as good as ever.”

June’s voice could be heard in response to Dave’s mumbling. Dave was momentarily confused. Why in the world could he hear June’s voice? It took him 2 seconds to realize he was at June’s house. Dave let out a groan and got up. June was standing behind the kitchen island and glanced over at Dave.

“Did you sleep well?”

“…Yeah. You?”

“I woke up well.”

Dave wondered what June could have meant by that. Instead of having slept well, she said she woke up well. However, June has long been saying things only she understands without explaining. This was nothing new.

Dave sat upright on the sofa and asked June in a quiet voice, “Was it something tough to handle?”

“What makes you think that?”

“For you to have passed out is indicative of how tough it must have been for you.”

June stayed silent for a bit. She loaded the rest of the food on the plate. It was a dish of salmon and vegetables, along with a poached egg and melted cheddar cheese, sitting on top of a toasted baguette. On the side were tomatoes lightly sprinkled with basil and croutons. Even considering that she is a chef, for a bland morning, she had taken quite a lot of care in preparing the dish.

“Just come and eat, for now. Let’s eat while we talk.”

Dave avoided saying anything unnecessary and headed toward the dining table. Normally, he is not inclined to eat anything the moment he wakes up, but the aroma he was smelling right now was too appetizing.

The two ate for a long while without talking. The first to speak was June. After cutting a small piece of grilled salmon and chewing on it, she said quietly, “When do you need to go?”

“My plane flight’s at around lunchtime. I can stay until then.”

“…You’re so foolish.”

June let out a sigh. It was not that difficult to understand why she let that sigh out.

Dave responded to her with a naturally innocent look, “You told me in the past that you actually prefer that I’m foolish.”

“As much as I preferred it, I also hated it.”

“There are always two sides to everything.”

“Isn’t it time for you to get over us?”

At June’s words, Dave stopped eating and looked at June.

“I think it’ll take a lot longer.”

“I already have. A long time ago,” June said bluntly.

Dave’s expression hardened. He wanted to say that he had lied. But what he had said was not what was important. What was important was what June had said.

June continued, “And while I saw my love for you die out, I observed it to see what shape my love would harden into. It didn’t turn out to be all that. It was irrational, shabby, and worthless. But… somehow I couldn’t bring myself to throw it away. Just like that doodle failure.”

It really did seem you could only find beautiful and pure love in movies. June’s love was not that type of grandiose love. Love was just love. It cannot become a dream, nor can it become a goal.

On the other hand, it can sometimes make us forget about our dreams and goals.

Dave was such a person to her.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“When it came to picking the new head chef, that I couldn’t beat you.”

June crunched on a crouton without saying a word in reply. The crunching sound reverberated drily. She thought about it for a moment. If June had failed to win back then and Dave had become the head chef instead, that 4 year time period could have possibly given her hope instead of despair.

From that point of view, Dave’s words made sense. Since June won that competition, she inevitably has to lose.

“I had given some thought to putting everything aside and living by your side,” June said in a calm voice.

Dave’s eyes briefly grew wide, and a dreary smile tugged at his lips.

“However, in the end, I concluded that it’s… probably not possible.”

“Since I’m that type of woman.”

“I liked that you’re that type of woman.”

Dave continued in a low voice, “But I hate it now.”

“Sorry,” June apologized.

Dave was shocked. If their friends heard that June had apologized to him, they would tell him to stop lying.

But Dave could understand June’s apology after seeing her face. Since the last time he had seen her, June looked more defeated. Her eyes looked dead, and it was difficult to sense a trace of her past charisma.

“We only seem to say sorry to each other. Always.”

June laughed hysterically, like someone who had heard a really funny joke. Then she said quietly, “It’d be nice if I could eat breakfast with you every morning like this.”

“You’re the one who decided not to, no?”

“You’re right. It was me… And back then, I said that, thinking I had a reason to. But… If I’m being honest… these days, I’m not quite sure… what the reason was.”

“This is not the June who acts like she knows everything,” Dave said.

June looked at Dave and asked, “Then, can you tell me.”

“…Tell you what?”

“If I can continue to have breakfast like this with you or not.”

Dave put his fork down.

“Tell me your answer.”

CREDITS:
Original author: 양치기자리
Translator: Comic Seoul
Proofreader: Potato