Why Is He Being Like This? (part 1)
“…What’s with him?”
June looked at her phone, stupefied. She was wondering why he would be calling so suddenly in the morning, and it turned out to be this unbelievable nonsense.
June’s expression quickly changed a few times. At one point, she looked to be in a good mood. And at another, she was frowning. The phone call should have made her feel good. June still had feelings for Dave. Sometimes she wanted to deny it, but June knew better than anyone that even if her feelings for him may or may not have cooled off, they had never completely disappeared.
Still, she was not happy.
‘Emotional release.’
Suddenly, that saying popped into her head. A smile crept up on her lips as if she knew the response. She considered all that Dave had said an emotional release because she had set no expectations for him. For she knew that even after having said all that, Dave would not take any action. His words were simply just that: words. No matter how sweet they are, they do not leave any substance behind.
They simply leave behind lingering regrets.
Like what she feels now.
‘This pisses me off.’
Even without thinking about it like that, the already unpleasant guy became even more hateful. June put down her phone, let out a sigh, and got up. She needed to prepare for the start of her work day.
June slowly stretched her body. For some reason, today her body felt heavier than normal. Actually, somehow it feels more like her spirit felt heavier. These days, every day that passes by feels empty. June could understand why she feels this way. She had accomplished the goal she had wanted to reach so badly, but that goal has to be renewed every 4 years. How can one live life fully like this?
But.
“…”
What if her languor was not because of the 4 year term?
“Chef June looks rather down these days.”
“Don’t say that in front of her or you’ll be screwed.”
“Nah. You think I’d make that kind of error in judgment?”
“Wasn’t it an error in judgment that made you challenge Minjoon?” Eva replied with a chuckle.
Downey was at a loss for words and fell silent. He glanced over at June again and whispered, “That was in the past. Don’t you think we should do something about Chef June?”
“As a demi chef, you should just focus on your work. She’s not someone you need to worry about.”
“…Okay.”
Anything he could say in return would all end with him being harassed. With an expression on his face that looked even more down than the one on June’s face, he returned back to his station. Eva crossed her arms and took a look at June.
‘…I suppose he’s right.’
To be honest, it was not unreasonable for Downey to be worried about June. It was not as if June was doing anything particularly wrong. When it comes to her own work, June was perfect. However, whenever Eva took a look at June these days, she could feel there was something missing in June.
When it was finally time to leave work, Eva approached June and asked, “June, you busy?”
“No. I’m not really busy today. Why, what’s up?”
“Nothing much. I was just planning on going out to drink or something with you, Chef June.”
“…Oh, is that so?”
A plan that involved her that she herself had not been aware of somehow seemed natural. As June looked at Eva dumbfoundedly, Eva playfully laughed, “Since today’s special, it’ll be on me.”
“…What kind of advice?”
[ Relationship advice! Advice on love! ]
“I mean, that came out of nowhere…” Jo Minjoon tailed off in a confused voice.
He had smiled briefly at receiving a call from Dave whom, he had not heard from in so long, when Dave had made this request rather urgently. He said he thought he may have made a mistake and was asking what he should do about it.
“Don’t you have anybody around you to ask?”
[ Out of all the people I know, you’re the only one who knows June well enough. Also, I heard you’re a master when it comes to relationships. ]
“…But, I’ve only been in one?”
Just what has he done for people to think that of him? The only reason Dave could make such a ridiculous comment was because he had no experience to speak of for himself.
[ Eh, in any case, help me out. I’m dying here. For real. ]
“Why? What happened anyway?”
Dave quickly covered his conversation with June from that morning. Jo Minjoon briefly thought about it, then just as briefly replied, “Looks like you’re screwed.”
[ …You think that, huh? ]
“That she hung up on you means she didn’t want to speak with you. And if she doesn’t want to speak to you, doesn’t that mean you’re screwed?”
[ Ah… is that how it is? ]
“Well, if you want to look at it positively… there’s a possibility that your words were so moving that she hung up… but for Chef June? I really doubt it.”
[ I suppose so… ]
He could tell from Dave’s voice alone how deflated he was. Jo Minjoon restrained himself from giggling and said, “Did you try to call her again?”
[ No. It felt like I’d look too clingy if I called her again. Men need to be chill. ]
“Call her.”
[ …Call her? ]
“Weren’t you clingy enough in the past trying to look all chill? What’s the difference with just a bit more?”
[ I guess so… right? ]
“Well, it’s your call in the end, Chef Dave.”
[ No, you’re right! Okay. I have nothing to lose at this point. Thanks. I’ll go call her. Good night! ]
“Ah, just a sec.”
[ Huh? What’s up? ]
“Once this is all over…” Jo Minjoon chuckled. “Can you write me a review as a favor?”
“I thought you’d be taking me to a pub since you said you were buying.”
“Hey, beer costs 10 bucks each in this neighborhood. Sorry to say, but unless our great head chef decides to consider giving us raises, I can’t even dream of such a thing. But, don’t you think our house is pretty good? I even nabbed decent speakers from Best Buy.”
“Well, it’s not bad,” June said, holding out a glass while chuckling.
Eva poured brandy generously into a brandy glass. June frowned while looking at the glass that was now almost half full.
“Don’t you have work tomorrow? I don’t remember giving you a day off.”
“I’ll be fine with this amount. I think it’s been a while since we last drank together.”
“…I guess it really has been a long while. Even longer for just the two of us. Should I apologize for that?”
“I didn’t bring that up to get an apology out of you, so don’t worry about it,” Eva waved her off.
June lifted her glass. Eva and June clinked their glasses together. Clink. Gulp. Brandy’s distinct sweetness assaulted their tongues. June’s face had already turned a bit red.
“Are you worried about something these days? You wanted to drink all of a sudden.”
“Worried? I can’t exactly say I don’t have any.”
“What are you worried about? Tell me. I’ll help if I can.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
June nodded sincerely. If June put it that way, then she was not lying. Actually, June is not the type to be lying in the first place. Those who did not know June would curse her as a heartless demon, but Eva, who had been by her side the longest, knew better. June was not as strong as people thought her to be. She is delicate.
‘That’s precisely why I didn’t really want to have to be saying this.’
However, life has a way of always forcing you to do what you do not want to do.
“I’m worried about you, chef.”
“…What?”
“It looks like you don’t have the drive or determination these days. That’s why I’m worried,” Eva said in a very dry tone — a tone that made it sound like worrying about her was no big deal and that June’s worries were also not a big deal. Although Eva could not be sure whether June was able to read that in her tone.
“So… it turns out I’m the source of your worries?”
“June.”
Eva looked at the glass filled with brandy.
“Do you remember? When Minjoon first showed up, I wasn’t able to become sous chef, and he became sous chef instead.”
“…Yes, I remember.”
This was a topic Eva had never brought up before. Mentioning this topic would not result in a good conversation between the two of them, after all. June brought the brandy to her lips once more. She could feel the warmth of the alcohol spreading throughout her body. Thanks to that, the loneliness that had been filling her up squirmed in discomfort, and she quietly looked at June from afar.
“I wanted to smack him.”
“I understand.”
“Well, that’s not what’s important. Do you know why I stayed on?”
“…Because the employee benefits are good?”
“No. Because I adore1 you.”
It was an embarrassing word. Maybe that is why Eva’s cheeks were red. Or maybe it was because of the alcohol. Whether it was because of what she had said or because of the alcohol, it was all the same since she was embarrassed.
“It’s not as if I had never thought of… wanting to become like you. However, honestly, I didn’t have those thoughts that often, since I already knew I couldn’t become like you. I don’t know how to give up my happiness and risk my life for ambition like you do. And so, I have chosen to stay by your side to look after you. I guess I wanted to experience success vicariously through your own success while watching you.
“But don’t I look rather pathetic now?”
“Well, I don’t know about that. Actually, I don’t really want to blame you for anything. I already know you did the best you could.”
“Then what is it that you want to tell me?”
“…Step back and observe, June.”
It was hard to believe those words had come out of Eva’s mouth. Considering the breadth of her field of vision, June is not someone who could be compared to the likes of Eva.
Eva laughed and said, “It is said that one’s skills in chess improve better from observing rather than from playing. That’s why I think I’m able to see what you cannot.”
“What is it that you see?”
“Your potential2.”
Eva finally turned to look at June.
“I know you’re disappointed you can’t stay as head of Rose Island for more than 4 years. But what about it? If I think about your potential, Rose Island is just a drop in your bucket3. Even if you haven’t filled your bucket with drops yet, why is that a reason to cry? You have so much more you can fill your bucket with4.”
“…You are seriously overestimating me.”
“It’s fine even if I am. Since I can think whatever I want for myself. In my mind, you are a god. You can become anything and you can do anything, so I think of this as offering up a prayer. I wish for you to realize the potential that I see in you, so I could become happy from just looking at you.”
Anyone hearing this would have mistaken it for a confession of love. However, June understood the meaning behind those words.
June did not respond. She downed her brandy without saying a word. Then she poured herself another glass. Slowly, carefully. Soon the brandy glass was full. June’s face was red. Maybe it was because of the lighting, but the color of the brandy appeared a bit red as well.
“…You are seriously overestimating me.”
June downed her glass. As she was turning to look at Eva, she immediately collapsed. Eva stared blankly at the collapsed figure of June. Knowing full well that June would not be able to hear her, Eva opened her mouth to say something when, at that very moment, June’s phone started ringing. The name that appeared on the screen was the loser. Eva picked up the phone.
“Hello, Dave. June’s passed out right now.”
[ Hell… wait, what? ]
“You want to come pick her up?”
[ Don’t be ridiculous… She’s in New York, no? ]
“It won’t take more than a few hours by plane. You could arrive before she wakes up. Wouldn’t Chef June be impressed? That you were so worried about her being drunk you flew over to check up on her.”
[ You’re drunk too, huh? ]
“A little.”
[ Get some sleep. It’s late. I’ll hang up now. ]
“I’ll give you the address, so come…”
[ Of course I’m not going. ] Dave exclaimed.
It takes about two hours by plane.
She was right.
He was going.
CREDITS:
Original author: 양치기자리
Translator: Comic Seoul
Proofreader: Potato
- yearn for ↩︎
- “your bowl” — original metaphor makes more sense with the subsequent talk about plates and cherry tomatoes ↩︎
- “Rose Island doesn’t even amount to a single cherry tomato on your plate.” ↩︎
- “Even if all the cherry tomatoes haven’t been put on your plate, why are you crying about that? There are still plenty of vegetables and meat you can put on the plate instead. ↩︎